I still do not feel that I had great success with the Loving Kindness meditation, but I will say that I made some progress. I found that I had less wandering thoughts this time. I also found that towards the end of the meditation when I was trying to send loving kindness to everyone, including enemies, I became very angry. I really do not know why, but I had trouble concentrating on the rest of the exercise because I was so upset. I hesitate to call it a coincidence especially given the fact that I got very uncomfortable during this part last time. I do not think that I am ready to embrace those who I am trying to forgive. I get uneasy at the thought of drawing their ills into my own heart.
I had a little trouble remembering what questions to ask myself during the integral assessment. Right now I feel that I must focus on the biological aspect of my life. I have only just begun to become active again. I started eating healthier and have started boxing classes, which I love! I have an extra 10-15 pounds to lose and I am confident that I will achieve my goal. I spent a couple of days last week walking and relaxing. Being in touch with nature besides doing something that is a calorie-burner really was good for my soul.
I had a little trouble remembering what questions to ask myself during the integral assessment. Right now I feel that I must focus on the biological aspect of my life. I have only just begun to become active again. I started eating healthier and have started boxing classes, which I love! I have an extra 10-15 pounds to lose and I am confident that I will achieve my goal. I spent a couple of days last week walking and relaxing. Being in touch with nature besides doing something that is a calorie-burner really was good for my soul.
Sendhy,
ReplyDeleteYou will see that the more you practice this, as with anything, the better you get at it. Just keep it up...=D
Sendhy,
ReplyDeleteYou may want to consider forgiving your enemies since harboring anger towards them just hurts you. It does not bother them at all. It is great that you see that you are experiencing the anger so you can work on eliminating it. I don't have any enemies and believe me I have had some terrible things done to me over the years. I mostly just feel sorry for the people that are unkind or down right evil. I don't want to give these people power over me and I feel that if they have the power to make me angry then they win.
Sendhy,
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your post. I totally understand about the difficulty of forgiving your enemies, as it can certainly be challenging. Recently, I've been struggling with the ability to not be judgemental. I didn't and still don't feel as if I'm judgemental, but according to my husband, I am. I seem to know his answers before he opens his mouth. He tells me I do not know his thoughts or his actions and yet, they always come to fruition. Sometimes I wonder if it is fruition or just a realization of circumstance.
Anita
Hello Sendhy,
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is a very difficult thing, but don't worry it will come, especially if you have a willing spirit. There are several meditation practices on youtube. Don't put so much emphasis on the ones assigned in class, they are just tools. Maybe you could find one on youtube that will help you. I found loving-kindnesss to be difficult too at first so I had to relax my mind first. Keep trying and it will happen.
Teal
Hello Sendhy,
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is definetly difficult, as Teal stated. I found that part of the exercise difficult as well. Some advise I can give is to just keep practicing, no matter how hard it gets or how angry you get. I say this because that is what I did and one day something just clicked. I don't know quite how to explain it other than something clicked and I felt light as a feather with relief and forgiveness for those I previously hated. I am so happy you started boxing! You and I have the same weight loss goal! :) I was thinking about joining kickboxing or a tae-bo class to kick me into gear. You can do this Sendhy, don't give up!